From: nagasiva@luckymojo.com (nagasiva)

(I)
Do what thou wilt shall be the whole of the Law.
The word of Sin is Restriction.

I am a Black Guard.

On the Border of the Realm of Light I sit, watching for denizens of
the vast Wasteland who may
wander to my single Post.

I, who was a Dark fiend.
I who was utterly repulsed by the Forces of Light and all they 
	represented.

I am a Black Guard.

What has brought me to this place?

...

One winter I grew bored with the gloomy Underworld.
I decided to foresake it and live in the Land of Light.
I visited, yet did not have the Will to remain.
I was given sustenance, comfort and rest.
I returned to the Darkness
refreshed.

Thereafter I made occasional visits to the Upper World.
I wandered the Wasteland alone,
content in solitary exploration and unexpected joys.

One evening I was returning home,
when I heard a Voice.

She said that She could not tell me who She was,
but that She would like to know Me better.
I was just as interested and,
over time, fell deeply in love with Her.
Gradually, She led me to forms in which I could know Her:

trees, bees, Dragons, and Light Demons.

Eventually She surprised me with a visit or two.
I could not help myself.
I, a Being of Darkness,
of such Emptiness that small Fires are quenched in my presence,
felt myself devoted,
hopelessly,
to Her.

I asked Her one day as we lounged beneath olive trees on a cool morning,
what I could do for Her.

She replied that She was Queen of a small region of Light,
and asked me to take a post near Her window in the Temple Wall,
so that She might see Me
and come to know Me.

If I served faithfully, and with diligence,
She would one day wed Me.  I name Her Hikaru, Goddess of the Sun.

Thus I sit, a Black Guard,
watching for my kin who come to plunder and destroy;
dreaming of bells and flowers,
kisses and tears.

Wondering when my Love will call Me from this Post
into Her Temple of Delight.

I wait, I watch. I dream...
and I smile.

Invoke Me under My Stars!   Love is the law, love under will.

Frater Nigris, Tyagi Nagasiva.
================================================================
(II)

long I waited, tears of loneliness drying
and coming to rest within my Heart as joy.

quested to champion the Dark and translate
the babbling utterances of fiends to the fauns and daffodils.

oh My Goddess, Hikaru, I serve faithfully, and with 
diligence, knowing that in Your Beneficence, 
You will see My love for You in its purity, and call.

the Light Demons I have befriended and loved withdrew,
understanding the horror of My appointed Task,
abandoning Me to solitude and subversion into Tao.
 
long then I forget the day She'd wed Me.  forgotten Her
name, when comes no Word from Her Quadrant, Her Throne.
still my Heart beats with joy in the Heat of Her love,
enthralled in the passion of service to My Queen, 
that Center of Xenophilic Splendor,
Source of Pleasure and Bastion of Wisdom....

My waiting become enchantment, watching ensorcelry,
delusiondreaming, an Arrow moving faster and faster
toward a Target never seen, blinded to Eye and Mind.
My smile a haggard memory of assignment to My Post, 
a Post, a life of encrusting armor, sealing Me in.

I am a Black Guard.
on the Border of the Realm of Light I sit, watching for 
denizens of the vast Wasteland who may wander to my border.
here I sit, watching for kin who come to plunder and destroy;
dreaming of bells and flowers, kisses and tears; wondering when 
My Love will call Me from this Desert into Her Temple of Delight.

that Love a hazy memory of shade and disillusion, 
a Promise never fulfilled, a Hint always withdrawn,
a Secret forever banished to the Outer Reaches,
where I used to dwell.

when from behind, of a sudden, and without warning, 
come the sounds of footfalls, the rustling of bags,
and the soft purr of a whispery feline.  

an invitation, says the Messenger Kitty, from the wilds
of Interior Luminaria, a noblewoman blinded from birth,
requesting visitation from the Black Guard.

thrice-thwarted was My response, though familiar was I
with navigating the Highway Photonos, its shuttles
and carriages giving way with application of Will.

into a cavern of rustic decore, replete in cordials and roses
atop its mighty expanse, magical and healing wells of power
spot the gloomy castle ruling a luxious domain.

and there on a stonework, bedecked in gossamer and lace,
sat the most beautiful of fae, knee-up in a bookread,
and beckoning Me to half-light, agasp in knowing her presence.

'I have called you', She said, setting aside Her Savory tome,
'for a Wedding, a Marriage of Souls.'  She spoke then of a
character of glory whom I was certain was to be Her husband;
one who would no doubt need a Guard such as I 
to engage the Darkness that the Good Folk, in their wisdom, 
are always bringing to their wood (the Blessed Shade).

She toured me through the cavern and its garden,
the pavillion and its magical wells, 
calling it Her Temple of Delight; 
a respite from the world, the bounty of Her effulgence,
and imbued with the work of the Sun.

in the cool morning we lounged beneath an olive tree, 
and I asked what I could do for Her.

She replied that She was Queen of the Fae, a small region of Light,
and thanked Me for holding My post near Her window in the Temple Wall,
so that She might see Me and come to know Me.

She said that I had served faithfully, and with diligence,
and that the worthy called Her Hikaru, Goddess of the Sun.

such grace and beauty, so bedevilling Her ensconcement,
that I forgot all but a whisp of My past, my Post and my Love.
'How perfect you have called Me', for I am a Black Guard, 
and I can vouchsafe your Husband.

at this She laughed gayly.  'Come, then, and we shall study
on the matters of Marriage and the Grand Melange.'

===============================================================

copyright nagasiva, 98/08/05