To: alt.magick.tyagi,alt.magick,alt.religion.wicca,
Subject: Scott Cunning's "Toilet Magic" 
From: nagasiva@luckymojo.com (lorax666)

50000909 Vom 

	[this was published shortly after the death of
	 Scott Cunningham and passed out amongst the
	 Wiccan and greater magical community in the
	 South SF Bay Area, receiving generally
	 positive response. it was a direct satire of
	 ads for his most recent release, "Kitchen Magic",
	 complete with photocopied headers, pictures
	 of Scott Cunninham, and page footers for
	 'Newellyn Times', lampooning the popular New
	 Age and Occult publisher for its style; the
	 publication "AUMMMnesia" was generally an
	 internal document passed around amongst the
	 few South Bay members of the Association
	 for the Understanding of Myth, Magic, and
	 Mysticism in the early '90s -- lorax666]
	
                         FOR SERIOUS
                        READERS ONLY
	
	Your Spiritual Search Is about to Be Fulfilled....
	
	-------------------------------------------
	AUMMMnesia, Volume 1, Issue #3, October 1991
	-------------------------------------------
	
	YES, now YOU CAN *HEAL* 
	       _your_ ADDICTION to Magical Aromatherapy
	
	-------------------------------------------
	
	Toilets are altars to the White Goddess of
	Porcelain, the  Queen of Cleanliness. Choosing
	the newest models, testing them out for
	comfort, durability and decor, pissing in magical
	mindframes: these are the secrets of Toilet
	Magic, a new book by Scott Cunning. It reveals
	age-old methods of changing reality through
	sanitary means!
	
	Though such exotic vacation squats as Buckingham
	Palace and Volcanic Hawaii are included in this
	book, you'll find many old friends: Unisex
	recreation models. Lobotomy Plunger Rituals.
	The 'ins and outs' of anal sex with diarrhea.
	You've wondered about these things for years, but
	until you're aware of the power of toiletries,
	they do little more than serve as a monument to
	your waste.
	
	In _TOILET MAGIC_, you'll learn the mystic
	qualities of toilet bowl cleansers, their purchase,
	use and disposal. Scott has included numerous
	magical plastic apron designs, for those dingy days.
	
	--------------------------------------------
	
	          "WASH AWAY YOUR WORRIES."
	
	--------------------------------------------
	
	[picture of Scott Cunning reclining outside on 
	 the lawn in a striped shirt and panama hat.]
	
	Use these secrets to enhance
	
	* Health	* Spirituality	* Sex

	* Digestion	* Love		* Sleep
	
	* World Politics	* Prosperity
				         and more!
	
	Cunning began exploring magical qualities 
	in bathrooms in 1974. Since then he has
	continued to discover the hidden energies in 
	toilets of all kinds. _TOILET MAGIC_, the product
	of 18 years of research and experimentation, 
	
	*42/Newellyn Times*
	
	----------------------------------------------

	[next page] 
	
	SCOTT CUNNING
		    RETURNS -- WITH HIS
				      *BEST* BOOK EVER!
	
	is Cunning's 18th book for Newellyn Publications.
	It was written with the premise that all aspects
	of nature and our daily lives are suffused with
	magic, and that we can consciously work with the
	energies that exist around us to magically transform
	our lives. You can use this book to make every
	urination a libation to the Gods!
	
	* Do color dispensors subtlely
 	 			shift the color of your magic?
						(Page 666)
	
	* Warning! That used napkin could lead
				to pressure imbalance.
						(Page 59)
	
	Don't worry! Although the Cone of Paper and the
	Handle of Doom are discussed, Scott infuses his
	conscious wisdom throughout the book. Warnings
	and precautions are given -- he even tells you
	about the dangerous Plumber's Rite, the once
	scandalous 'Uranus Over Ice.'
	
	* Is a wooden seat Druidic?
						(Page 42)
	
	* Does forced vomiting seal a
				powerful spell of banishing?
						(Page 8)
	
	* Return to meetings with greater zest
				and endurance.
						(Page 93)
	
	* The Eddas of the Holy Toile.
						(Page 966)
	
	* Group elimination can make
				you powerful!
						(Page 21)
	
	Drought cycles and household body weight are
	taken into account. As long as you follow Scott's
	advice, you won't have to worry about regularity,
	flatulence, or hemorrhoids. All you will feel is
	the magical affect of the toilet improving your
	life in EVERY way!!
	
	Flush bad luck out of your life!
	--------------------------------------------
	
	[cheesy drawing of toilet, then boxed inset
	 of a very obviously altered ad from "Kitchen
	 Magic", with poor paste-ups -- lorax666]
	
			TOILET MAGIC
				*by Scott Cunning*
	
	 TOILET MAGIC can bring you clearer thinking,
	 relief, relaxation, power over addictions, the
	 ability to change the course of mighty rivers,
	 bend minds with your bare hands. Why not get
	 the most out of your bathroom? Get Toilet
	 Magic today and flush your way to happiness!!
	
                                       *Newellyn Times/43*

EOF