To: soc.religion.eastern From: Haramullah (tyagi@houseofkaos.abyss.com) Subj: Reflections of a Sufi Evening (sufivisit.h) Date: 49920925 (Updated: 49940909) [Dedicated to my new friend, Taher] REFLECTIONS OF A SUFI EVENING In the name of Allah, the All-Merciful, the All-Beneficent, the Most Munificent [My apologies regarding spelling and the remembrance of names. The Islamic culture is not one with which I am very familiar.] My Abyss (Lisa) and I arrived early for the 8:00pm gathering. We found the Haqqani Center quite easily and were met by a youth who, after affirming that this was indeed the Sufi Center, promptly returned inside. It was our first contact with a culture which, by the end of the evening, we would find mysterious and, at times, uncomfortable. The Sheikh was away in Malaysia. We were to meet those who had stayed behind in the U.S. or had returned from his entourage. The couple who were keeping house for him while he was gone were of Euro-American descent. The boy who had greeted us was not. We were told that he was one of the Sheikh's sons and welcomed with tea and warm smiles. We were shown the library and informed regarding the Sheikh and his lineage. After a half-hour of pleasant conversation other members of the Order began to arrive. My first reaction was amazement. What beautiful people! Two non-european men, in traditional garb, entered the room. Their humility was balanced by the calm surity of their stride. They greeted Lisa and I and introduced themselves. I'm sad to say that I did not always understand or remember all of the wonderful names I heard that evening. My descriptions must be based on appearances or attitudes as I saw them. The first was Taher. We had spoken previously on the phone and I had been shown my first glimpse of Islam by a man whom he said he admired, Khalid Khan. Taher had told me that he has followed the soc.religion.eastern newsgroup and admired my writing. We both looked forward to this first meeting and I was quite inspired by it on the whole. Taher was a gentle, patient man with the looks of a scholar and a beautiful voice. The second was a dark-skinned man whom I shall call 'The Prince'. He was most assuredly the model for the Western description of 'tall, dark and handsome,' and I found myself marvelling at his beauty. Taher had brought a video tape and, after a few minutes, proceeded to play it for us. It was an edited, polished, home movie of a trip which the Sheikh had taken to the Lama Foundation in Taos, New Mexico. The tape had footage of the visiting Sheikh and a few Sufi rites. The soundtrack was a sequence of chants which sometimes matched the rituals performed. The rituals in the video consisted mostly of chants within a circle, sometimes while joining hands and moving sideways, or forward and back. In the first there was a central circle of men surrounded by one of women. The whole gradually became a spiral inward toward the Sheikh, who directed from the center. The second was held within a small room shaped like a Roman arena. The central floor became the focus of activity, from which the Sheikh led a rhythmic bowing and then left to sing outside it. Both rites cyclically grew and faded in intensity. They reminded me of the many Western, Neopagan rites I'd attended in which there was song and dance. Of course all of the chants were in Arabic, and they seemed to last for quite a long time. I could imagine being caught up in the pure joy of such fervent chanting and becoming swept away with devotion. The second rite on the video was led by Sheikh Hisham Kabbani, who resides in the U.S. My understanding is that the first was led by his Sheikh, Nazim, the Master of the Order, visiting from Cypress. It was evident from this video and from my subsequent conversation with Taher that this was indeed a devotional Order. Their relationship with the Sheikh (which translates roughly as 'Old One' or 'Old Man'), their 'Imam' (Master, Leader and Teacher), reminded me strongly of that of the Hindu and Guru. More people had arrived during the video. Many of them were women. It now became obvious that what I'd experienced with Khalid those many months ago at the Santa Clara mosque - the physical separation of men and women - was practiced here at this Center also. For Lisa and I it was to be the most difficult aspect of our visit. Here it is necessary to interject a small note regarding my relationship with Lisa. We are, in many respects, Tantric devotees. We are, for each other, windows to the divine. We are like sister and brother, lovers, and are often such close friends that we transcend all concepts of 'male', 'female' or even 'human'. We are more intimate than many legally married couples, and the fact that we have an open relationship which sometimes invokes difficult emotional struggles for us (largely jealousy) only seems to bring us more and more firmly into unity. Lisa and I sat together near what was to be the "front" of the room for the prayers which began shortly after the video. There were strings across the room for the traditional Islamic prostration-line, part of the daily prayers. Taher mentioned that traditionally men sat in front and women sat behind them. I half-expected Lisa to remain where she was and join the men. I might have, in her position. These people seemed very accepting, and while they probably felt more comfortable with their cultural preferences, they did not impose them upon us. For this I was very grateful. Lisa chose to move to be with the women. It was the last time that evening at the Center that I felt her fully with me. She struggled with the separation and what she felt to be the disrespect given to her and the other women. I sympathized, yet I did not understand the depth of her feeling until we discussed it the next morning. This aspect of the Sufi Order concerns me most. Everything that I have read leads me to assume that unity is praised most highly in Sufism. Frithjof Schuon writes that for Sufism "the metaphysical doctrine is... that 'there is no reality save the One Reality'" and the book I was given as a gift, which contains the writings of Sheikh Nazim Al-Qubrusi, begins with a chapter on unity. Here it is written: "...the ultimate goal is beyond even the intimacy of 'I and Thou', a Unity beyond duality, for He is All in All. That is the meaning of, 'There is no God but He'. As long as we cling to the separateness of our physical and spiritual existence, we are far from our goal." What brilliance! What promise! Yet here in the mosque I was struck, both during the profound prayer and afterwards, during the chanting called 'zikr', with the distinct separation between the sexes. This feeling, I know, arises largely out of cultural differences, but the groups of men and women had a palpable gulf which was never breached during the entirety of the evening. The evening prayer began. I have only recently been exposed to the Muslim form of worship. There are five daily prostrations toward the Qiblah or 'direction of worship', and the traditional direction is toward the Ka'bah, or 'House of Allah' in Makkah (the place where the Prophet Muhammed was born, peace be upon him). The Ka'bah, which is of extreme historic and symbolic importance to Muslims, is the focus of daily prayer and religious pilgrimmage. The evening prayer included a series of inclinations and prostrations. I am uncertain about the details, yet am fascinated by their complexity. There were a series of personal, quiet recitations interspersed with inclinations (these involve a straight-backed, forward lean with hands upon the knees) and prostrations (in which one places one's forehead squarely upon the ground between outstretched hands). There was much time of recitation while sitting, some of this involved turning the head to the right and left, some involved the extension of the index finger of the right hand. It seemed that there were individual prayers, a group prayer, and then individual prayers before the entirety was completed by a general well-wishing of all those in the gender-group. During the group and ending prayers there were solo recitations (resonated/sung) from the Qur'an. I am told that the first Surah (chapter) is of extreme importance in these daily prayers. There was a period of silence while people reorganized for the devotional chants (zikr). The same fellow who led in the group prayer proceeded to lead in the group chanting. I assume that when the Sheikh is at the Center this is his usual role. The chants were all in Arabic and were repeated a number of times, such that one who is not familiar with the language could become accustomed very quickly. These chants completed, protective sheets were laid out and refreshments were prepared and served by the women. I am very moved by other cultures. The devotional life fascinates me. This is why I am so drawn to my Tantra and why my Abyss and I have the relationship we do - I am capable of being devoted to Her. I experienced the sincerety of these Arabic chants, both in the video and later, in person. The Arabic language is very lovely to the ear, and the tonality is so melodious that the sensitive may experience the deep love felt by those who recite it faithfully. After the chants I felt peaceful and joyous. Sitting across from Lisa in the room, I had seen her enter a state of of quiet reflection, punctuated by moments of chanting. This environment was less familiar to her than to me, since I have been exposed to many eastern religions with similar styles (notably, the Hindu). I could tell that this was difficult for her and was happy to see the women begin to include her in their discussion. At this time I began a quiet discussion with Taher. A most remarkable individual, he did not balk at my questions nor at my sometimes unusual responses to his inquiries. At once I asked him in a respectful tone regarding the separation of men and women and its purpose. He explained, as Khalid had before him, that its purpose was to keep us from distraction. It is supposed that appearances, surfaces, are distracting from our attentions to Allah. They interpose a type of veil (as the Hindu Maya, I presume) between ourselves and the divine One. I understand this, yet of course question the duality between ourselves and Allah when 'there is no reality but the One Reality'. My deliberate questions about this were met with a resolved response that Allah created the world in this way and that this separation is important so as to keep the focus of our Hearts unified. I do indeed see the point of this restriction, yet I struggle against it in my devotion to Shakti and my inability to reconcile the words of Sufism with its practice. In a conversation with Lisa later, I tentatively concluded that the reason for such inhibitions was social in nature: to maintain a distinction between the gender groups was to avoid all of those difficult emotions which arise from our insecurities, and thus allow the mind/body to focus on what is, within the prayers, a unified perfection. While we may not be able to release our attachment to sexuality, we can preserve our peace through minimizing its restimulation. This is, unfortunately, contrary to the path that Lisa and I have chosen to walk. We are convinced that it is valuable (for us) to confront such emotions and to come to some resolution, unity, THROUGH them. In this way do we heal ourselves and come to know the One (Allah). Yet we were not told to maintain this division. Lisa felt that she would have been ignored had she initiated discussion. If we do continue an association with this Sufi group, I'm sure that we will at some point 'cross these lines'. Taher asked me about my current studies. I was prepared for quite a heated response from him when I told him I was researching Satanism. His reaction was quite admirable. While I am convinced that he and I see it differently, he explained that in the times which we are living (those which precede the Great War, an apparent parallel to 'Armageddon') such knowledge is important. He contended that to study and come to an awareness of the choice we have before us (between Allah and Satan) is very necessary. I explained to him that in my studies I was beginning to think that Satanism was a response to society; that it was a natural, individual expression resulting from the pressures of organizations. This he seemed to accept readily, yet I got the feeling that he understood this individual expression to somehow be against Allah. Also I must note that when Taher spoke he used the term 'God'. I did as well, yet I refrain from that here because I don't feel the term is easily comprehended. When I write about Islam I use the term 'Allah'; when about Buddhism, 'Buddha'. In my mind they are one in the same and I enjoy the masks. This is another aspect of Islam, indeed of all Islamic/Judeo/Christian traditions, which I have had great difficulty understanding. I am sure that there are cultural and historical causes involved, yet I cannot easily understand why the Imams support tribalism. I had the same experience when speaking with the Sheikh's son later. I referred to my feeling that other religious services I'd attended reflected the same divinity, and he recharacterized them (as had Khalid Kahn) as the 'worship of Djinns'. A Djinn does not have the reputation of a Christian Demon, but worship of one is not seen as equivalent to the worship of Allah. In this way every Muslim I met characterized the Hindu (and I presume many other faiths, especially those which are polytheistic) in an inferior position with respect to their own. To me this was, though perhaps not intentionally, disrespectful. I will note that I've read much Sufi and Hindu writing which seemed not to participate in this and I've also met a number of Hindus with similar ideas: that their worship was somehow superior to that of other faiths. This surprises me all the more as it arises within a Sufi sect, supposedly the most mystical and syncretic of Islam. Yes, they do in fact welcome those of all faiths to the Center, yet how are they treated? To this point, I have not really exposed them to my way of life (a monk of Kali involved with the Mages and Unbelievers about whom I'd heard and read so much Muslim condemnation), yet perhaps time and this essay will bridge this gap and test the waters. My path is universal love. So far I have only heard about condescension within this Sufi Order, and this was minimal. Taher went on to tell me more about the Ka'bah, Abraham and his sons, his own recitation formula (akin, it seems, to the Hindu mantram), and the Muslim place in Allah's world. His perception of my questions was impeccable, his approach was respectful, and his manner was completely loving. It is not often that I interact with males (especially those who are probably heterosexual) in such an intimate way. I felt that I was genuinely and unconditionally accepted, though I did little to seriously challenge this. I heard Lisa discussing theology with the women across the room as the Sheikh's son arrived and the men's attention drew to him. She was challenging their ideas about the role of women in society, questioning the value of ego-restriction, and generally pitting her own values of liberative growth against theirs of humble discipline. I admired her strength, her fearlessness, and the way in which the women as a group could maintain such differences yet reflect such kindness. It was at this time I realized that this was a devotional Order much like the Hindu sects I'd visited. The theoretics are considered important, yet secondary to the emotional stability of group focus on the Imam/Guru. It is too early yet to make such sweeping generalizations, yet there are qualities about the way that the Order members interacted which supports this hypothesis. The evening concluded with a brief conversation between myself and one of the Sheikh's many sons (the young man had recently returned from Malaysia). He struck me as incredibly genuine, perhaps frustrated with language differences, and possibly as uncertain as I regarding our mutual interests. It would be nice to speak with him again regarding his relationship with his father and if life in the U.S. has changed his family life any. It was near midnight by the time we spoke, and our exchange was rather brief. After the traditional triple-embrace among those men who were leaving (I assume this is customary among the women as well) Lisa and I left for home. I note here that the form of embrace is initiated and followed by a handshake and then terminated by the kissing of one's own hand. Upon reflection, this gave me the impression that the intended communication is 'my hand is blessed by touching yours' or something similar. I appreciated the customs of these men greatly. Lisa and I are still contemplating this momentous evening. We had different reactions to the events and are strongly inclined to return to the Center once the Sheikh has returned to the U.S. It would be quite interesting to see the different atmosphere when the Master is present, and I look forward to asking him about what I feel are obvious inconsistencies between his words and their practices. The differences in the ways that people interacted (e.g., men and women, men and youths) were quite noticeable and seemed to indicate of a lack of respect. No doubt the Master will understand my confusion and have his own ideas on the matter. I would like to thank the Sufi Order of Los Altos for a marvellous evening. Only through direct experience, I feel, can I come to taste a part of what it means to be a Muslim, and more particularly, a Sufi. The hospitality and warmth of those with whom I prayed were deeply appreciated. Haramullah (Lisa, Editor :*) ---------------------------------------------------------------------- "In the name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful, I seek refuge with the Protector and Cherisher of all people, The Regent of all people, The God of all people, From the mischief of the Whisperer who withdraws, Who whispers in the hearts of all people, Among Djinns and among humans." Surah 114 [the last]; Al Nas (All people), _The Holy Qu'ran_, transliterated by Haramullah ------------ (c) 1994 Haramullah tyagi nagasiva tyagi@houseofkaos.abyss.com House of Kaos 871 Ironwood Drive San Jose, CA 95125-2815