AN OVERVIEW OF THE ARMCHAIR MAGICIAN IN LIGHT AND SHADOW Introduction here I sit in front of the computer screen, my eyes strained, having been at it all day long (and a few days previous as well). I was revising the "Mage's Guide to the Internet" ( http://www.luckymojo.com/magi ), noticing that the work is never done, the revision becoming continuous so as not to let living, breathing Web-links escape as they mutate and slough off their old carcass-URLs. here am I, the Emperor of the Armchair Magicians, dreaming vast visions, placing them in a subtle gossamer which dissolves even as I watch, all around me. do I face the East, South, West and North to Call the Quarters or Banish the 'Kakodaimonos'? no, I merely sit facing the West and my one-eyed altar of silicon and steel, the Machine Messiah. do I wave my tools about me in a fierce display of raw chakratic power? no, I merely move my fingers in complex patterns, composing patterned language upon the rectangle-eye of my attention. do I perchance shift from my position and engage the teeming hordes in their revelrous and protestant celebration, displaying my acumen in persuasion and glamor? no, once in a while I get up for food, to piss, and fetch a book from the library, inspired to continue my technocratic dissolution. here, let me read to you something I just found to inspire us and help explain the complexity of the subject: It is my Will to inform the World of certain facts within my knowledge. I therefore take "magical weapons", pen, ink, and paper; I write "incantations" -- these sentences -- in the "magical language" i.e. that which is understood by the people I wish to instruct; I call forth "spirits"; such as printers, publishers, booksellers, and so forth, and constrain them to convey my message to those people. The composition and distribution of this book is thus an act of MAGICK by which I cause Changes to take place in conformity with my Will!) ------------------------------------------ "Magick in Theory and Practice", Aleister Crowley, Dover Publications, NY, 1976; p. XIII. _________________________________________ consider the modern version of this scenario, from a comfy chair before a keyboard. now perhaps it is my true will to apprise the world of certain facts within my knowledge with my 'magical weapons': my computer, Freston; the modem; and telephone line. my incantations (these sentences) are written in a magical language (the 1s and 0s which make possible telecommunication, and in English, the supposedly dominant language of the planet). I call forth spirits to convey my message (telephone carrier services, internet service providers, search engines and directories, etc.). The composition of this electronic text is thus an act of MAGICK (pretty powerful, eh? : ) by which I cause change in conformity with my true will! I suppose that almost any technological activity would be magic under these definitions.... _(23) Magick is the Science of understanding oneself and one's conditions. It is the Art of applying that understanding in action_.... _(25) Every man must do Magick each time that he acts or even thinks, since a thought is an internal act whose influence ultimately affects action, though it may not do so at the time_. ---------------------- Ibid; pp. XV-XX. ___________________ thus from the comfortable repose of my Armchair do I wield incredible power, according to the lofty speculations of this popular occult writer. doing Magick every time I think, without any kind of specialized training, I am a force with which to be reckoned! (and my diction will impress you ; ) The Essentials of Armchair Magic the casting off of unwanted chores, prerequisites, and work supposedly necessary to having our way is an aspect of all intelligent hedonism. from the first moment of technological innovation, comfort and convenience became virtues. Armchair Magicians are the most powerful type, able to control the world from the privacy of the living room or den. but it is important for the student of Armchair Magic to be able to truly distinguish the charlatans from the Chair-Dwellers, the posers from the Recliners. so what ARE the qualities of the Armchair Magician? and is there a spectrum of manifestation, or is there some kind of black-and-white litmus test to determine character? it is true that telling the fake from real Armchair Mage can be damn difficult! after all, how can we discern whether someone is truly manipulating the world around them to create the circumstances in which we find them or if they've just crawled onto a piece of comfortable furniture and begun a host of self-delusions? Research one common myth is that Armchair Mages complain about not having enough information, avoid doing any individual research, and approach the subject of magic from a void of experience. the amateur does actually exhibit these loathesome qualities, living off of the hard work and exciting experimentation of others, and coming to expect to be spoon-fed the fruits of the labor of others. he becomes accustomed to being provided with premasticated experience by those who are actually doing things that he can't be bothered to do, by adept Armchair Magicians, or by more mobile occultists. the adept Armchair Magician, in contrast, asks politely of those who are doing the research, extracting from reflections of experience the gleanings and benefits that may be acquired therefrom, when she is not, in hir comfy chair, doing it hirself. she understands that research means the personal investigation of magical and mystical technologies, that it INCLUDES practice. it involves talking with people doing spells, rituals, doing the spells and rituals oneself (while reclining in one's chair!), etc. to the amateur, experimentation is not at all important, the focus is on knowledge, status, and convenience. sitting in armchairs and being online are merely activities which may be predominant in the life of the Armchair Magician (rather than, say, going to libraries or other lands, exposing hirself directly to a number of cultures and their ways of magic). they are not in and of themselves good qualitative indicators, much like judging a book by its cover. being an Armchair Magician can include reading books, but at some point books get in the way of practice (because they can become a substitute FOR it). the adept may obtain information, but she does much more: she organizes and cares for it so that it can be incorporated into a body of work usable by sincere magicians, making these available to hir communards and those, like hir, who seek respectfully after what she's found. the amateur Armchair Magician has little regard for librarianship, complaining to those who will listen if he cannot find the requisite databits amongst his pile strewn around the base of his armchair, and then relegating what he has been patiently provided over his shoulder to the trash heap behind him when his attention wanes. Fantasy the amateur lives in a fantasy world of the names, offices and supernatural phenomena that are described in his favourite books. his logic is constructed for the purposes of self-congratulation, and rational analysis just gets in the way of this. typically it coalesces into a fantastic self-image whose ridiculous exploits litters hir expression. in contrast, the adept may or may not make use of hir magical adventures as character facets, and she welcomes acute analyses and incisive questions as a means of preserving hir humility and fertilizing the soil of hir imagination. one of the main differences between adepts and amateurs by which the perceptive evaluator may discern them is whether they can, by virtue of their magic, produce results in the real world. since their knowledge is not connected to any of their own experience, most amataers are little aided even by the most explanatory guide. adepts may live out their lives contentedly in a comfy chair, or consider their lives so satisfyingly comfortable that it might as well be so lived, yet when they are convinced that a certain item or experience becomes necessary, they are quick to arrange for it to be brought to them. interaction with the world outside is always a check-point for responsibility. the Armchair Mage's closest friends and family, business associates and corporate clients may have very good insight (if they are not tripping on psychoactive substances) into hir actual condition. some means of sustenance is always necessary, and the charlatan will almost always have some invisible means of support (inherited or obtained through concealed or deceptive cheat). this may even include the writing of books, though amateurs will seldom produce useful materials. Summary in conclusion, it may be difficult to assess any particular Armchair Mage's state of development, but it is not impossible. those who pretend that all are alike do not truly understand the ways of wizardry! in closing it is wise to consider the description of one of the most important Armchair Wizards in history: He was dressed in a flowing gown with fur tippets which had the signs of the zodiac embroidered over it, with various cabal- istic signs, such as triangles with eyes in them, queer crosses, leaves of trees, bones of birds and animals, and a planet- arium whose stars shone like bits of looking-glass with the sun on them. He had a pointed hat like a dunce's cap, or like the headgear worn by ladies of that time.... [He] had a long white beard and long white moustaches which hung down on either side of it. Close inspection showed that he was far from clean. It was not that he had dirty fingernails, or anything like that, but some large bird seemed to have been nesting in his hair.... The old man was streaked with droppings over his shoulders, among the stars and triangles of his gown, and a large spider was slowly lowering itself from the tip of his hat, as he gazed and slowly blinked at the little boy in front of him. He had a worried expression, as though he were trying to remember some name which began with Chol but which was pronounced in quite a different way, possibly Menzies or was it Danziel? His mild blue eyes, very big and round under the tarantula spectacles, gradually filmed and clouded as he gazed at the boy, and then turned his head away with a resigned expression, as though it was all too much for him after all.... ...Finally, when they had got them- selves into the black and white with as much trouble as if they were burgling it, he climbed up the ladder after his host and found himself in the upstairs room. It was the most marvellous room that he had ever been in. There was a real corkindrill hanging from the rafters, very lifelike and horrible with glass eyes and scaly tail stretched out behind it. When its master came into the room it winked one eye in salutation, although it was stuffed. There were thousands of brown books in leather bindings, some chained to the book-shelves and others propped against each other as if they had had too much to drink and did not really trust themselves. These gave out a smell of must and solid brownness which was most secure. Then there were stuffed birds, poppinjays, and maggot-pies and king- fishers, and peacocks with all their feathers but two, and tiny birds like beetles, and a reputed phoenix which smelt of incense and cinnamon. It could not have been a real phoenix, because there is only one of these at at a time. Over by the mantelpiece there was a fox's mask, with GRAFTON, BUCKINGHAM TO DAVENTRY, 2 HRS 20 MINS written under it, and also a forty- pound salmon with AWE, 43 MIN., BULLDOG written under it, and a very life-like basilisk with CROWHURST OTTER HOUNDS in Roman print. There were several boars' tusks and the claws of tigers and libbards mounted in symmetrical patterns, and a big head of Ovis Poli, six live grass snakes in a kind of aquarium, some nests of the solitary wasp nicely set up in a glass cylinder, an ordinary beehive whose inhabitants went in and out of the window unmolested, two young hedgehogs in cotton wool, a pair of badgers which immediately began to cry Yik-Yik-Yik-Yik in loud voices as soon as the magician appeared, twenty boxes which contained stick caterpillars and sixths of the puss-moth, and even an oleander that was worth sixpence -- all feeding on the appropriate leaves -- a guncase with all sorts of weapons which would not be invented for half a thousand years, a rod-box ditto, a chest of drawers full of salmon flies which had been tied by Merlyn himself, another chest whose drawers were labelled Mandragora, Old Man's Beard, etc., a bunch of turkey feathers and goose-quills for making pens, an astrolabe, twelve pairs of boots, a dozen purse-nets, three dozen rabbit wires, twelve corkscrews, some ants' nests between two glass plates, ink-bottles of every possible colour from red to violet, darning-needles, a gold medal for being the best scholar at Winchester, four or five recorders, a nest of field mice all alive-o, two skulls, plenty of cut glass, Venetian glass, Bristol glass and a bottle of Mastic varnish, some satsuma china and some cloisonne, the fourteenth edition of the Encyclopedia Brittanica (marred as it was by the sensationalism of the popular plates), two paint-boxes (one oil, one water- colour), three globes of the known geographical world, a few fossils, the stuffed head of a cameleopard, six pismires, some glass retorts with cauldrons, bunsen burners, etc., and a complete set of cigarette cards depicting water fowl by Peter Scott. ----------------------------------------- "The Once and Future King", by T.H.White, G.P.Putnam's Sons, NY; pp. 22-5. _________________________________________ free love, right now black brother nagasiva@luckymojo.com