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From: catherine yronwode <cat@luckymojo.com>
Organization: Lucky Mojo Curio Company
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Subject: Re: Male ejaculation control
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Date: Mon, 01 May 2000 20:54:31 GMT
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suse2@my-deja.com wrote:
> 
> In article <8eh06p$ur8$1@nnrp1.deja.com>,
>   Victoria Mbele <victoria9411@my-deja.com> wrote:
> 
> > Richard, I invite other student to my bed and tried making love 
> > Friday and Saturday.  I did not use a teaser, I want to know how he 
> > does it. It was deep and quick.  My heart beat fast and I felt happy 
> > but no great thrill.  The quick deep entry hurt a little, I still 
> > feel sore. Lying together sweaty after and talking was the best bit.
> >
> > In Ghana I would have allowed only one inch penetration and I would
> > have reached high orgasm.  So, I have to learn to accept deep sex, 
> > or I limit lover.
> 
> Or find a different lover or teach one what you like. Not all deep
> penetration is the way you experienced it. The lovers I've had will
> generally take the time with mouth and hands first, then shallower
> penetration, allowing me several `low' orgasms. Then faster, deeper
> stroking until we both reach the high orgasm. So it's not impossible 
> to get what you're used to, you just have to let your partner know 
> what you'd prefer. They're not mindreaders, especially in bed! 
> <chuckle>
> 
> suze

Generalizations about the inadequacies of "untrained" male lovers bother
me, as they do you, Suze, because they imply that men have no natural
talent for pleasing women. This is simply untrue. 

I have found that men vary as much in their "natural" or 
preferred" techniques of lovemeaking as they tell me that women do.
Because of these natural and learned variations, some cpuples work well
together from the first meeting, other need a period of mutual learning,
and some couples may never be compatible. But anyone can modify his or
her own natural style to a greater or lesser extent. Most of us (both
men and women) consciously or unconsciously do that when we meet a new
lover -- we don't force things to go one way or another, but take cues
from each other, setting up a mutually agreeable set of movements and
techniques. 

With some experience, any man or woman will learn all of the several
general styles of human lovemaking and will be able to work well with a
new partner from VERY few cues. 

I liken this to an experienced musician sitting in with a new band --
for instance a blues musician sitting in with a hillbilly string band,
or a bluegrass musician sitting in with a blues combo. If you know music
in general, you'll be able to improvidse in the new style from the
get-go, and with practice and a few pointers aboiut the common riffs and
chord progressions found in that genre of music, you will become
proficient in the new style within a few playing sessions. 

But all of this is only part of good love-making -- it has little to do
with spiriutal sexuality, except insofar as a pleasant sexual experience
is a good starting point for beginning spiritual work in the sexual
realm. 

cat yronwode 

Karezza and Sacred Sex ------ http://www.luckymojo.com/sacredsex.html