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From: tyagi@houseofkaos.abyss.com (nagasiva)
Newsgroups: alt.magick.tyagi,alt.religion.bulddhism,talk.religon.buddhism
Subject: SWells: Zazen (Was Re: Mama Zen)
Followup-To: alt.magick.tyagi,alt.zen,alt.religion.buddhism,talk.religion.buddhism
Date: 21 Dec 1995 12:44:31 -0800
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[from alt.zen: swells2917@aol.com (SWells2917)]

I've seen a lot of posts to beginners, and FAQ's about starting
meditation.  They're all helpful, but there are some gritty material
issues that I never see addressed.  So, in the interests of balance and
realism--proposed FAQ's for Moma Zen (easily adaptable for Daddy Zen,
Taking Care of Frail Relatives Zen --Go Steve! and Just Plain Busy Zen)
This is my solstice present to friends at alt.zen, especially other
lurking moms.

1. How do you find time to sit?
     If you're a nursing mom, on the one hand you seldom do anything but
sit.  On the other hand, the sutras are lamentably silent on how to
concentrate with quadruple the usual levels of progesterone in your body. 
But when you're holding a sleepy baby, sitting by the window, watching the
stars blink out, that's our sesshin, our dokusan, our enlightenment.
    Mothers of older kids have different kinds of problems.  With
toddlers, you probably have no time to sit, either, but may go really
crazy unless you give it a try.  So pop in a Barney tape, provide a snack,
and go somewhere within earshot.  Think of "I love you/You love me" as a
mantra in an  exotic Asian language.  Sit down.  Your kid will come find
you--count on it.  They will need something.  Get them what they need and
sit down again.  Or they will want to climb on you.  Let them climb, play
a little, and go back to sitting.  Remember that it's just breathing, that
there's nothing to get done with here (back off kid, unrtil I've finished
breathing!)
    Myself, I've had most luck with bedtime sitting.  I read a story,
light a candle, get a drink of water, and then I sit "keeping company"
with my girl while she drifts off.  She asks questions and interrupts, but
slowly has gotten used to it.  Sometimes I fall asleep, but I understand
that happens in the best of monasteries.

2.  Where do you sit?
     There is no clean place.  There is no place where you won't be
reminded of something you should be doing.  So there it is.  We can look
at it.

3.  What do you do when you sit?
     Straighten the spine.  Let your head come up.  Keep your knees and
butt stable.  
Some people suggest that you count your breaths from one to ten, and come
back to the count whenever you're distracted.   This works pretty well for
me.   Other people thing it's a good idea to let when comes into your mind
just come--and then let it go.  Mainly, this is a time when you just see
and touch your life, your mind, as it comes and goes in your breath.
      And in real life, when I sit--I straighten up, slouch, sigh, count
breaths, lose count, start again, think of when I last vacuumed the floor,
replay resentments from the past day, get another drink of water for
Constance, breathe some more.  Nothing happens.  I find that I don't want
to do without it.

So--how about you other mama zen practitioners out there?  Help!  More
ideas!

Sue Wells