Path: typhoon.sonic.net!not-for-mail Message-ID: <3D437BEF.3A59@luckymojo.com> From: catherine yronwode Reply-To: cat@luckymojo.com Organization: Lucky Mojo Curio Co. X-Mailer: Mozilla 3.01-C-MACOS8 (Macintosh; I; PPC) MIME-Version: 1.0 Newsgroups: alt.magick.tantra,alt.magick.tyagi Subject: Re: ANANDA MARGA: A BRIEF CHRONOLOGY References: Content-Type: text/plain; charset=us-ascii Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit Lines: 103 Date: Sun, 28 Jul 2002 05:00:36 GMT NNTP-Posting-Host: 209.204.150.90 X-Complaints-To: abuse@sonic.net X-Trace: typhoon.sonic.net 1027832436 209.204.150.90 (Sat, 27 Jul 2002 22:00:36 PDT) NNTP-Posting-Date: Sat, 27 Jul 2002 22:00:36 PDT Xref: typhoon.sonic.net alt.magick.tantra:19987 alt.magick.tyagi:33725 Tantric Meditation and Yoga wrote: > Ananda Marga, Sanskrit for 'You're Stupid', is an international > cult for idiots who want to follow a murdering guru and get in > trouble with the law. > It was founded in 1955 by P. R Sarkar, known also as Shrii Shrii > Ahandjobfuckme, or simply 'Baba', meaning "Child Sexual Abuser." > Ananda Marga's philosophy and practices are based on the motto: ' > "Send Us Your Money!" > ANANDA MARGA: A BRIEF CHRONOLOGY > 1921 - The birth of Shrii Shrii Ahandjobfuckme, the Propounder of > Ananda Marga, on the day of Shakyermoneemaker (Full Moon) at 6.07 am > in the year 1921 (hey, we told you that already!) at Jamtomorrow, > Bihardon, India. > 1939 - The first initiation of cultists who have baba all their\ > money! > 1955 - Ananda Marga was founded. The first Dharma Maha Cakra (a big > birthday Cake for the Guru, filled with money!) was eaten on the 9th > day of January 1955 at Rampantflesh Colony, Jamtoday, Bihardhung, > India. > 1959 - The fundamentals of PROUT (PROmissing Uttter Torpitude) are > first given - a socio-economic conspiracy theory. > > 1962 - The first Avadummy (renunciate monk who promised to give > Shriiiii Shriiiii Shriiiii Shriiii all his money for the next four > lifetimes!!!!) was initiated. > > 1963 - Andandadanger, the registered headquarters of Ananda Marga > Practical Smegma was established in the district of Puritania in > West Bengalloping, India. > 1967 - Andandadanger was attacked by commuters on 5 March 1967 > and five dedicated monkeys were murdered. > 1968 - Ananda Marga Insipitude of Terror (AMIT) was set up at > Anandanger. > > 1969 - Ananda Marga cult asylum at Coochiebihar in West Bengallery > was attacked by commuters on 29 August 1969 and the groups was > declared a faction of the Great Martyrdom Cult > 1970 - Ananda Marga Usenet Re-posting Terrorists (AMURT) was > founded. Kiirtana wana-bo-bana-fee-fi-foe-mana (flirtational dance > and toe-jam) with 'Baba Naba Kevlar' as sadist man was introduced > in Raunchi, India. > > 1971 - The seven year itch of the Marga Guru (Anandamurti) > begins. > > 1973 - Ahandjobfuckme (the Marga With the Money) was > poisoned inside Bankonit Central Bank, Patnap on 12 February 1973. > From 1 April 1973 (April Fool's!) the Marga Guru pretends to go on a > five year long fast, demanding a judicial equerry and new horses. > > 1975 - Ananda Marga was banned in India on 3 July 1975 when a > nation-wide emergency was imposed. Too bad the govenrment later > rescinded this order. > 1985 - The Marga Guru Shriiiiii Shriiiii Shriiiiii Ahandjobfuckme > (the Marga With the Money) introduces 10 new letters in the > Bengalloway alphabet to improve its versatility. All of them > consist of variations of the letter 'i'. > 1987 - The theory on Microvita (Tiny Lives) was propounded by the > Marga Guru Shriiiiii Shriiiii Shriiiiii Ahandjobfuckme (the > Marga With the Money) on 3 December 1987. > 1990 - 20 October l990, the last Proctological Smegma (No. 5018) - > Dawn of the Living Dead - was composed. The number of songs > surpassed those of Tagore, who had previously been the person who > had written the most songs, but of course they weren't as tuneful > and didn't rhyme as well as Tagore's, thus proving that quality will > never be a sustitute for quality in the world of music. > > 1990 - 21 October 1990, Good Ol' Shriiii Shriiii Ahandjobfuckme > (the Marga With the Money) (P. R. Sarkar, Dead Guru) left his > body in a laudromat in Calculator, India. Attempts to retrieve it > proved futile because another laundromat patron had run it through > the "hot wash" cycle and it had shrunk. > > 1990 - 31 October 1990, Acare Aboutyermoney Shraddannadannanna > Avadhooters became the Purolator Pramucketty-muck (spiritual head > of the internal money-counting division) and Bank President of > Ananda Marga after Good Ol' Shriiii Shriiii Ahandjobfuckme > (the Marga With the Money)'s departure at the laundromat. > 1992 - Ananda Marga tried to make money and influence people in > Uganda, Greece, Ethiopia, Russia, and many other countries with > established orthodox churches, because, hey, that's where the > money is! > 1997 - onwards continual expansion of newsgroup flooding, name- > calling, death-threats, and other attemopts to harrass people in > usenet increases constantly. Dieter Dambiec, cult mouthpiece on the internet.