OFFICE GODS

In the tradition of "Plastic Jesus, sittin' on the dashboard of my car," i wish to report on a new phenomenon, Office Gods.

A line of very nicely sculpted Greco-Roman style statuettes of Computa, Faxus, Photocopia, Phonus, and Caffeina are available at some religious supply stores these days. They are marked copyright © 1994 Briggs/Made in China. I bought mine at Ancient Ways, a neo-pagan, hoodoo, Wicca, and ceremonial magick supply shop in Oakland, California. They cost $7.50 each (ouch) but they are very cool.

Computa is about 4" tall and depicts the guardian goddess of computers holding aloft a sistrum and backed by a floppy disk. Around the base is inscribed "COMPUTA."

Caffeina is also about 4" tall, a winged goddess emerging from a coffee cup inscribed "CAFFEINA" and holding a smaller coffee cup aloft as if in offering.

Just guessing, i would say that the artist's model for Computa was an ancient statue of Ceres; likewise, i think that the statue of Faxus seems to resemble Mercury, and Caffeina looks like a Bacchante.

The workmanship on these statuettes is really fine. The finish is off-white, a sort of faux-alabaster, i suppose.

I rate the Office Gods as HIGHLY RECOMMENDED and extremely collectible. As far as their efficacy goes -- well, i can report that since i installed Computa atop my Mac Quadra 950 in September, 1995, it has not crashed more often than it usually does, and i now have a new font i never had before. I bought Caffeina in March, 1996, and three days later i heard a report on National Public Radio about a new scientific study that found that women who drink coffee regularly are less likely to commit suicide than women who do not. This is good news...

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