Ygraine on Schlesinger

On Fri, 31 Mar 2000 20:48:02 PBYgraine wrote:

Dear Magistra Jantsang, It was very nice to finally have a "conversation" with you. I have long read your work, and we have mutual friends who have assured me that we would find much in common. Anyway...I do not know where to begin, so you'll probably get a lot more here than you want. Sorry!

OK. In 1990 I owned a store called the Cauldron and was a Wiccan HPS. William was a CoS member---first one I ever met. We started lecturing together on Occult religions , and fell in love. He saved me from a violent ex-husband, and we have been together ever since. In 91 William was called to SF to meet Dr. LaVey, and I was lucky to be invited as well. It changed my life. Blanche and I did NOT hit it off, but Dok and I did, and even spent an hour alone together discussing William's Satanic career and my past family. William was made an agent. We spent several nights with them, and went home refreshed.

William was very young--19 at the time, and like Andre, let it go to his head. I was no longer comfortable with Wicca, but not ready to accept my Satanic self---so I started a multi-denominational church. We ended up being included in The Encyclopedia of American Religion, certified as Occult Experts by the state, etc...

Anyway--the infamous Geraldo debacle: I told you--we did the show--that is how I met Paul.

Well, when William, rightfully, was ex-comm'd, it nearly killed him. The CoS meant the world to him, and he was too young to see he was the problem. I was so angry for him that I hated them. Paul had been discovered, by then, by P & P, to be a complete piece of shit. He came to us for support for our hatred.

Paul was a friend- had no idea that his whole life was a lie, that he was a jerk, etc...We did a lot of TV together. Then we (briefly) joined the ToS. This drove Paul crazy. He was jealous and hurt that we did not start something together.

In less than a year, it was obvious that we were not ToS material. I was called to Denver to do "The Satanic Summit"--Bob Larsen's special on Satanism. Peter was there, Rex Church, Thomas Thorn, etc...Something inspired me to send a basket of fruit to Peter & Rex's hotel room. Peter came to my room, and we hit it off, and got along great. When we returned from Denver, we began corresponding, and William & Peter re-united their friendship.

This drove Paul insane. First he told us that Peggy had published William's ex-communication letter online. Then he launched a campaign to have us thrown out of the ToS. I knew it was bullshit, but I called Peggy: We hit it off immediately. (this was 95-96)

By 97 we were living in New York my family home. We became very social with the Gilmores, and began wanting to be back in the CoS. We took our time, to develop trust and re-establish ourselves. There was no doubt that I was a Satanic Witch and that William had matured beyond all possible hopes.

My grandmother died, and at her memorial service we got the call from Peter that Dok had died. With or without the little red cards, we knew who we were and where we really belonged. We joined (Wm re-joined), our only regret being that Dok didn't live to see it---Blanche, however, assured us that Dok always knew William would return and that I would understand that I had always been a Satanic Witch. Her kind words meant the world to us.

Evidently that was not enough for Andre, however. He felt that since we had been ToS (like Rex Church and George Nemo Smith!!!) we were not to be trusted, and has been a rude motherfucker ever since. We tried, Tani, sooo hard, but eventually he insulted every potential member or our grotto members he could find.

My loyalty is to the CoS, and Peter and Peggy. I love them dearly, and I just hate to rub their nose in things they are already well aware of.

BTW, you had previously asked about my education. I have an AA in Theater, am 6 credits shy of a dual degree in Physical Anthro/History.

I was born into a theater family in NY. My grandfather was an Oscar nominated Screenwriter (East of Eden, South Pacific, The Yearling) and a Tony winning playwright (Mornings at Seven). I was a professional child actress, and worked in theater until I was 25. Then I got hooked on academia.

Anyway, now that I have bored you silly....

Be well, hoe to talk soon.


She had sent this email after this log:

I post this now. Only the total non relevant clipped out for space. Is too much.

[19:19] <Ygraine> Hey, I'm one of the little people---doesn't pay
to insult the clergy.
[19:19] <Commissar> I'm not insulting.  I'm observing and have been observing and so
have other Magistry!
[19:20] <Ygraine> I meant me and my gift for understatement.
[19:21] <Commissar> oh, ok. But yeah,many observe it.  It has to stop.
[19:21] <Ygraine> Last August my husband and I addressed the Andre issue---hard.
It was not well received.
[19:22] <Ygraine> We went directly to Blanche.
[19:22] <Commissar> What did you tell HP?
[19:22] <Ygraine> It nearly cost me my friendship with Mag. Nadramia, who I
consider one of my dearest friends.  I will not ever go against her in that way again.
[19:23] <Commissar> What happened?? I mean, what did you say?  I showed Peter
some hard evidence of very VERY bad behavior.
[19:23] <Ygraine> That he was psychologically damaged, clinically depressed,
stupid, and costing the Church MONEY.  I had no less than 10 potential members who,
upon dealing with Andre, decided not to join.
[19:24] <Commissar> Oh yeah, and the other day, the 17 yr old kid kicked
out of his home.
[19:24] <Commissar> Wanted to know where he could send money. The kid got
[19:24] <Commissar> This is a trend here, beengoing on TOO LONG.
[19:25] <Commissar> If I were a rival org wanting to destroy the cos,
I'd hire such a person to do such things!
[19:25] <Commissar> That's as simple and clear as that Y.
[19:25] <Ygraine> I have brought almost 12 paying members to the Church
this year---I stopped telling them about chat until the checks cleared, if you follow.
[19:25] <Commissar> yes.
[19:26] <Ygraine> Nagy has our original letter to Blanche.  He was aware
at the time.
[19:26] <Ygraine> Great guy, Jeff, and his wife is a doll.
[19:26] <Commissar> I managed to show evidence and now Chuck Shaddoway does
not get trashed on net.
[19:27] <Commissar> I don't see why P and P trust him so much.  They tend
to trust wrong people, eg,Paul Valentine?  
[19:27] <Commissar> I don't get it.
[19:28] <Ygraine> No--there is more to it.
[19:28] <Ygraine> May I explain, please?
[19:28] <Commissar> ??
[19:29] <Ygraine> yup
[19:29] <Commissar> yes.
[19:29] <Commissar> please do.
[19:29] <Commissar> I'm totally in the dark due tonot being online till recently.
[19:30] <Ygraine> In the early 90's EARNED his Priesthood by running a successful
NY grotto and producing a very good TV show on Manhattan Cable called the Satanic Mass.
[19:31] <Commissar> Rev S. did??
[19:31] <Ygraine> Once he was made a Priest, however, in my opinion, he went
nuts.  His whole identity became associated with his Priesthood.
[19:31] <Ygraine> Yes, he did.
[19:31] <Commissar> I agree.  And he is the kind of person Doc would step on
and despise.  A bully.
[19:32] <Ygraine> example:  We were at Peter & Peggy's for New Years Eve
right after Dok died, and he was so mean to us, and screaming out the window "I
am a Satanic Priest & don't you forget it!"
[19:32] <Commissar> Oh my shitting gods !
[19:33] <Ygraine> We tried to make friends with him, invited him to our
recording studio, our Park Ave apt---he just hated us and we could not figure
out why....
[19:34] <Commissar> I don't why P and P can't see this.
[19:34] <Ygraine> He is loyal to them---and Peggy feels responsible.
[19:34] <Commissar> Peggy ought to get over it.  
[19:34] <Ygraine> Actually, Peter has been cooling off for quite a while.
[19:35] <Commissar> Yes.  Probably moreso from what I showed him.  S goes
around saying "Peter is my boss" and then behaves HORRIBLY.
[19:35] <Commissar> Who gets the "credit?"  Peter.!
[19:36] <Ygraine> On Halloween he left his own event---left them holding
the bag---half the party showed up at our hotel!  It seriously pissed off Peter.
[19:36] <Commissar> He did something with a guy named Kasner I heard.
A writer?
[19:36] <Ygraine> Kasner is an artist, I believe.
[19:36] <Ygraine> I do not deal with him.  Peggy laid down the law to
him to leave my husband and I alone.
[19:37] <Commissar> There are others in the same position.  they don't
speak to him, nor he to them.  Sooner or later, everyone in COS will be not
speaking to him if they don't get run out.
[19:37] <Commissar> If they don't just quit.
[19:38] <Ygraine> BUT, again Magistra, I am simply a reg. member, who
is lucky to have good friends in the Magistrate.  The Church matters to me
so much, that I do not want to be known for causing my friends problems.
[19:39] <Ygraine> He does not care---he is against new members (except
for young women willing to cyber-screw him--imo)
[19:39] <Commissar> cyber screw?? phone sex?
[19:39] <Commissar> He brags about how many women he gets.  He's uh...
polite:  NOT my type for sure.
[19:40] <Commissar> He trashed nancy for accusing her of flirting.
She was joking with him.
[19:40] <Commissar> Y what would DOKTOR do with such a person?
Think about that.
[19:40] <Ygraine> The truth is, this shit really effects Peggy.  She
hears it all day-
[19:40] <Commissar> That's where Nagy and I are coming from.  We
will watch, and document.
[19:41] <Commissar> 10 members.  That's one thousand dollars.
[19:41] <Ygraine> Yes---between you and I, he is notorious for doing
the computer sex thing---I don't get it.
[19:42] <Ygraine> Dok---I dunno--I doubt he'd be impressed.
[19:42] <Ygraine> yes, my husband is a psych student, and he wrote to
Balnche a diagnosis!  
[19:42] <Ygraine> Exactly what you said.
[19:43] <Ygraine> My hubby suspects he is building a private data base.
[19:43] <Commissar> with what in it?
[19:44] <Ygraine> Borderline personality disorder/Religiosity/Bi-Polar
[19:44] <Commissar> YES!  HIGHLY paranoid too, conspiracy theory freak,
delusions of grandeur all that.
[19:45] <Ygraine> yup---he actually wrote that, too ;)
[19:45] <Commissar> Who wrote it?
[19:45] <Commissar> Les? or S?
[19:46] <Ygraine> I know.  Les actually likes me and we have discussed it
---regardless, Les and Egan and their ilk are not satanists, anyway.
[19:46] <Ygraine> William, my husband.
[19:47] <Ygraine> You and he would enjoy each other.  He goes online as
either "Starets" or "Jesus of Borg".
[19:47] <Commissar> Les likes all of us more or less.  OH MY GAWD,
that's him?  He was on atheist!
[19:48] <Ygraine> Not usually---that is strange.
[19:48] <Commissar> Y, do you know the Paul Valentine story?
[19:49] <Ygraine> Honey!  I have more history with Valentine than most.
[19:49] <Commissar> I only know that P and P trusted him, the same story.  Y,
I have never in my LIFE trusted a person that turned out to be a klippoth.
[19:49] <Commissar> NEVER.  I have good instincts.
[19:50] <Ygraine> Paul is different.  I trusted him.  He was a guest
in my home several times.
[19:50] <Commissar> What you tell me stays here OK?  Goes nowhere


[19:50] <Commissar> Somethig bad happened with him and P and P.
[19:50] <Ygraine> Deal.
[19:50] <Ygraine> Yes...and with us.
[19:50] <Ygraine> He hurt me very badly.
[19:50] <Commissar> Paul hurt you?
[19:51] <Ygraine> I met him at the Geraldo Show (yes Paul betrayed me,
badly BUT, as a result I joined the CoS and became friends with Peggy)
[19:51] <Commissar> ok
[19:52] <Ygraine> Me, William, & Paul were guests on the show, Peter was
there to supervise---must be like 91 or something.
[19:52] <Commissar> I saw that show.
[19:52] <Commissar> Paul was in audience?
[19:53] <Ygraine> having met him thru Peter, we figured he was ok.
Well--ok...now I have a few confessions...
[19:53] <Commissar> ok..
[19:53] <Ygraine> Paul was on the show for WCSL, William was representing
the CoS, I was representing The First Occult Church.
[19:53] <Ygraine> I was a Wiccan High Priestess at the time.
[19:54] <Commissar> ok
[19:54] <Ygraine> We then all went, after the show, to the Gilmores.
[19:54] <Ygraine> Flash forward about a year or so.
[19:54] <Commissar> ok
[19:55] <Ygraine> Paul is revealled to be an asshole by the Gilmores.
William is ex-communicated by the CoS.
[19:55] <Commissar> why?
[19:55] <Ygraine> So now Paul and Us are both "enemies" of the CoS.
Not surprisingly, we bonded.
[19:55] <Ygraine> why--because he was ANDRE!
[19:55] <Commissar> That's when you wanted to sue Lupo?
[19:55] <Commissar> wait, WHO was Andre??
[19:56] <Ygraine> William knows Andre is wrong because there was a
time when he behaved in the same exact way.
[19:56] <Ygraine> Lupo came later, although we are now friends.
[19:56] <Commissar> oh, William behaved the same way.  got it.
[19:57] <Ygraine> He was ex-comm'd for being too into himself at the
sacrifice of the Church.
[19:57] <Ygraine> Sure..I'll write you a synopsis on em...
[19:57] <Commissar> Lupo hates my guts as Lao puts it, due to those old
war wounds.  What's funny is that Brendan, Casey and Wayne Hill are the ones
who actually wrote those flames!!!
[19:57] <Ygraine> I'll catch you later---nice to talk to you.
[19:58] <Commissar> hs!
Session Close: Fri Mar 31 19:58:22 2000