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LIFE PARTNERSHIP
and
SACRED SEX

by nagasiva and catherine yronwode


The illustration on this page is a Thai penis amulet
from the pages of the Lucky W Amulet Archive.

A correspondent asked what it takes "to successfully blend tantric partnership and life partnership over a period of time." Having had this ideal for years and enjoying a realistic opportunity to explore and experience such a blending, we humbly provide the following list of general suggestions:

ESTABLISHING THE PARTNERSHIP

Spiritual Interactions



Emotional Interactions

  • incentive, dedication, confidence, and resolution
  • compatibility of personality, spirit, and limitations


Physical Interactions

  • study of general biology, mammalian sexuality, and human anatomy
  • compatibility of spatial, political, and aesthetic values


MAINTAINING THE PARTNERSHIP

Spiritual Interactions

  • commitment to ultimately surrender to the divine
  • continued shared study of the principles and practices of
                  tantra, karezza, and/or sacred sex
  • fostering and protecting the "state of grace" (bond, connection, union)
    • creating a sacred space for intimate conjunction
    • forestalling and dissolving intrusions into the sacred space
    • acknowledging closure after times of intense intimacy
  • verbal or gestural acknowledgement of spontaneous transient moments
                  of the experience of deep bonding ("love") when not in the sacred space
  • verbal or gestural acknowledgement of spontaneous transient moments
                  of the experience of distance ("lostness") when not in the sacred space
  • maintaining loving communication during times of physical separation
  • willingness to give oneself up during times of emotional conflict


Emotional Interactions

  • mutual support
  • adaptability to changing conditions, intrusions, and stress
  • patience and some willingness to compromise toward shared goals
  • compassion (openness and the ability to identify with another's
                  pain directly from life experience)
  • intentional and respectful engagement of each other's
                  boundaries with the goal of eliminating them
  • friendly relationships with each other's family members
  • willingness to:
    • talk about emotions
    • verbally express compassion for each other's deficits
    • expand one's emotional attention to oneself,
                    one's partner(s), the dynamics between them, and
                    the circumstances surrounding the entirety
    • be co-introspective and to learn therefrom
    • apologize for failure, wrongdoing, and miscommunication
    • forgive each other when given sincere apologies
  • willingness to outgrow/abandon:
    • selfishness, arrogance, and greed
    • pre-emptive self-pity
    • the use of anger to cover fears and tears
    • grudge-bearing behaviour
    • violence, battery, or sexual abuse
    • secretive or deceitful behaviour
    • racist, classist, or sexist ideation; prejudice, sectarianism, and bigotry
    • culturally mediated taboos against natural biological processes
    • past patterns of fear and victimization
    • all past failed relationships


Physical Interactions

  • regular practice of tantra, karezza, and/or sacred sex
  • sharing time together
  • willingness to expand one's physical attention to oneself,
                  one's partner(s), the dynamics between them, and
                  the circumstances surrounding the entirety
  • shared residence with lover(s)/partner(s)/spouse(s)
  • mutually agreed upon standards of sexual fidelity
  • mutually agreed upon usage schedules for psychoactives,
                  alcohol, and/or tobacco
  • practice of birth control aimed at planetary population reduction
  • rural/garden (not urban) environment


Good Advice

  • when given a choice between intellectual debate or fucking,
                  always choose fucking
  • when given a choice between working or fucking,
                  always choose fucking


In regard to the "rural /garden" environment noted above and the general layout of the physical area in which we create our sacred spece, the following extracts from a classic text on Chinese sex-alchemy may be of interest. The precise date of authorship is in dispute but the work is conceded to have been written during the 15th or 16th centuries C.E. It still seems to hold true today.

from "Summary of the Golden Elixir" by Chang San-feng

Choosing a Location
Some prefer to live in the countryside. The earth should be red or yellow and without ancient graves ... A place where the mountains and rivers are pure and beautiful is auspicious indeed. Otherwise I am afraid it will not be suitable for your work.
Choosing Comrades to Assist in Practice
One must choose like-minded comrades for a relationship of deep commitment. They should be by nature poised, loyal, filial, friendly, and fraternal.
Setting Up the Elixir Platform
The altar table should include pure water, incense, candles, flowers, and vases. Arrange the ancient ritual implements ... One should worship here both morning and evening .... [At the] east is "the chamber of the green dragon," [the man] and [at] the west is "the chamber of the white tiger" [the woman]. In the center is the altar for making offerings ... Due north and south should be precisely aligned ... The windows should be clear and the tables clean. Fences and barriers ensure peace and seclusion. Plant flowers and shrubs and raise cranes and deer to provide an area for the gentlewoman to relax.
(Excerpted from "Art of the Bedchamber: The Chinese Sexual Yoga Classics Including Women's Solo Meditation Texts" an excellent book compiled, translated, and annotated by Douglas Wile, and published by the State University of New York Press, 1992.)
According to Chang San-feng, a couple engaged in sacred sexuality or sex-mystical practices requires three bed chambers: one for each alone and a third between them for the enactment of the sacred rites. Few of us can afford such an arrangement. but a man who wishes to worship a female goddess such as Kali or Mary would do well to place Her altar ("the chamber of the white tiger") in the West, while a woman who wishes to worship a male god such as Siva or Jesus would do well to place His altar ("the chamber of the green dragon") in the East.

As each devotee symbolizes to the other the sexualized deity of choice, so each devotee might stand at the altar to Himself or Herself in deified form and turn in the direction of preferred worship -- he at the East turning to face Her in the West, she at the West turning to face Him in the East. Then each will see the other, flanked by deific imagery.

Their meeting place, the alchemical crucible or bed ("the altar for making offerings"), might be in the center of the room between the two wall-altars. Toward the North of this central space might be an altar to the invariant pole-star around which the union of the two sexualized forces entwines. To the South, where the beauty of the day and night take form, might be placed a window onto the created garden-world, the peaceful, flowery, and fenced area in which the "gentlewoman" and her consort may relax, perhaps laying together in a hammock, if the weather is warm.

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Gospel of Satan: the story of Jesus and the angels, from the perspective of the God of this World
Hoodoo Psychics: connect online or call 1-888-4-HOODOO for instant readings now from a member of AIRR
Missionary Independent Spiritual Church: spirit-led, inter-faith; prayer-light services; Smallest Church in the World
Mystic Tea Room: tea leaf reading, teacup divination, and a museum of antique fortune telling cups
Satan Service: an archive presenting the theory, practice, and history of Satanism and Satanists
Southern Spirits: 19th and 20th century accounts of hoodoo, including ex-slave narratives & interviews
Spiritual Spells: lessons in folk magic and spell casting from an eclectic Wiccan perspective, plus shopping
Yronwode Home: personal pages of catherine yronwode and nagasiva yronwode, magical archivists
Yronwode Institution: the Yronwode Institution for the Preservation and Popularization of Indigenous Ethnomagicology


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